Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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