No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
