I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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