i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
