I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
