Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
