girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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