where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
