What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
