That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
