im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
