How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I just had sex on a roof
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
