But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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