so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Randomize
