The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
