Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
