So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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