i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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