I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
