The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
