Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
