Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
