You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
