Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
this hospital has no fireball
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
