____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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