Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
