STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
