Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
