If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
