I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
