she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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