What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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