No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
