It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Randomize
