not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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