do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
