someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
