just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
