At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
we're making bets on your personal life
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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