i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
