I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
