I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
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