Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
how drunk are you?
Several
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
