I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
