Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
