if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
