paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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