Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
