I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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