I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I stole a fireplace last night.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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