Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Randomize
