K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize